I was scrolling through Twitter recently when I came across a picture of “best friends” from a popular TV show. The tweet with the picture was, “#goals.” Scroll through Twitter (or other social media) for any amount of time and you’ll see all kinds of #goals- #couplegoals, #friendgoals, #relationshipgoals, etc., and as I scrolled through Twitter the other day, The Lord burdened my heart for teenage girls and their #goals because most of these pictures attached with this hashtag aren’t really goals at all.
Girls, we have got to stop letting the media, what we watch on TV, and the songs that we listen to define what #goals are for us. Think about what kind of relationships those people often have. If you honestly put some thought to it, you’ll see that a lot of these relationships (whether friendships or boyfriend/girlfriend) are filled with pettiness, drama, and a “me first” type of mentality. Take a look at God’s Word, and you’ll see that this is actually the opposite of #goals. “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” Philippians 2:4 (ESV).
#Goals is a friend that points you to Jesus. #Goals is a friend that asks you how your walk with the Lord is going. #Goals is a friend that asks for forgiveness after messing up and forgives you after you’ve messed up. #Goals is a friend that is not a stumbling block for you. #Goals is a friend that encourages you in the things of Christ- obeying your parents, working hard for the glory of the Lord, finding your identity in Christ, etc. #Goals is a friend that sometimes asks you the tough questions, just because they love you and want to see your relationship with the Lord restored. #Goals is a friend who loves you like Jesus does.
Really, dating relationships need their own separate blog post. But for now, I’ll give this disclaimer- seek (and obey) your parents’ advice on this one. And like I’ve said, #goals is really the opposite of what you’re seeing on TV (unless you’re watching Fixer Upper). #Goals is dating someone who is pursuing Jesus out of a deep love for Him. #Goals is dating someone who wants to stay pure and holy not because of a moral checklist, but because we are called to be holy as Christ is holy. #Goals is dating someone who respects you, your friends, and your family. #Goals is someone who is dating for the right reasons- to marry, not just because dating is “fun” or “what teens do”. #Goals is dating a guy who has the desire to be an Ephesians 5 husband. #Goals is dating someone who you can see one day leading you and your family in the Lord. #Goals is dating someone who treats you as you should be treated as his sister in Christ. If the person you’re dating isn’t someone living for Christ in these ways, or if you’re not living for Christ in these ways, then it’s probably best to put dating on pause. Wait for the guy who is #goals according to God’s Word. Wait and become the woman who will be #goals according to God’s Word.
No, sweet friends, #goals are not elaborate shopping sprees or grand gestures of love. Those things can be nice (I know us girls can’t turn down a good proposal story!), but let your #goals be that of Christ. I have friends that are #goals. We are not perfect and neither are our friendships. But they encourage me in being a wife and a mom through their actions. They don’t mind if they come to my house and it’s nowhere near spotless. They ask me how they can pray for me, and they actually pray for me. I tell them how I’m struggling, and they encourage me in the Lord. My husband is #goals too. Like my friends, neither we nor our marriage is perfect, but my husband strives to love me like Christ loves the Church, and that is #goals. He brings me home a Rolo McFlurry after a long and crazy day. He knows that his first ministry is to our family. He prays with me. He encourages me in my dreams. He serves our family selflessly day in and day out. Goodness, I’m thankful for him. The Lord has been so sweet to put an awesome husband and wonderful friends in my life.
It’s so easy to look at relationships and friendships on TV and think that those are #goals. On the surface, they kind of do seem like #goals. But if you dig deeper and really think about what God wants from you, you’ll see that they’re not. Girls, God has so much better planned for you when it comes to friendships and relationships. He knows what’s best for you, so seek Him and use His Word to define what #goals are. You’ll have so much more joy and save yourself a lot of drama and heartbreak when you seek God’s best in the relationships area of your life. A relationship/friendship that points to Jesus, now that’s #goals.
p.s. I didn’t write this to say that my husband and I are awesome, or that my friends and me are awesome, because we’re really not. We mess up and fail daily. I’m nowhere near the wife or friend that I long to be. But we serve a God who is awesome. And He is the one who makes our relationships awesome, because we strive to base our relationships on Him. I wrote this as an encouragement/challenge to the teenage girl out there who is seeking friendships and relationships that are not glorifying to the Lord. Listen to God, His Word, and the wisdom of other godly people around you for what #goals are, not the message that our world sends.