I had an absolutely wonderful Mother’s Day yesterday. My husband cooked me breakfast. My boys gave me sweet gifts. We spent the afternoon at the lake and the evening grilling out in our backyard with our families. It was a sweet day.
Yet, all day yesterday, I was a little sad. Honestly, ever since my mom has passed away, Mother’s Day has been a little weird for me. I wish that my mom was here to be celebrated. I have so many more things that I wish I could tell her “thank you” for now that I’m a mom too. It’s kind of hard to fully put into words the exact emotions I have on Mother’s Day. I miss my mom and wish she were here, but my heart is also filled with gratitude to the Lord for making me a mommy and for blessing me with other mother-like figures in my life.
I’m sure you have days that are weird for you too, days that are filled with mixed emotions that you’re just not sure what to do with them. Maybe it’s Mother’s Day because you’re waiting to be a mommy. Maybe it’s Father’s Day because you’ve lost your dad. Maybe it’s an anniversary or a birthday. Whatever your hard/weird day or days are, friend, I’d love to just encourage you for a moment.
I wish that I could give you a magic formula to take the sad days away, but I can’t. My mom has been with Jesus for almost 5 years, and I still have days where I’m more sad than others. Yes, it’s definitely easier than it was right after she passed away, but I’m learning that grieving is a journey that’ll never be over on this side of eternity. I miss my mom in different ways as I enter different seasons of life. I guess I could write one of those “10 ways to remember the one you miss on Mother’s Day” posts or something like that, but missing my mom has taught me that everyone grieves in a different way (and that’s totally okay!!!). When I’m wanting to remember my mom, I take out her Bibles and journals, or my family and I share funny stories of her (like that one time that she wanted to go to PF Changs at 10pm and didn’t understand why she couldn’t). But this might not work for you on your sad/weird days.
But this is what I can tell you, friends. I can tell you that there will be sad days or weird days when you’re not sure how to handle your new “normal”, and I can tell you that this is okay. Scripture tells us that there’s a time to weep and mourn. I can also tell you that you’re not alone. The Enemy tries to make us feel like we’re all alone in our struggles. We get things in our head like, “I’m the only one missing my mom on Mother’s Day” or, “I’m the only one struggling with the loss of a loved one,” and those things are just not true. No one’s struggles are completely the same, but we all have struggles. Everyone is broken in some way. Maybe you’re broken because of rejection in the job world. Maybe you’re broken because a relationship in your life needs to be reconciled. Maybe you’re broken because you’re so desperately waiting for a baby. No one has a perfect life, so know that you’re not alone in your brokenness. I can also tell you that Jesus is enough for you. He is our hope that we can anchor our souls in. He makes us overcomers. He gives us peace when the storms of life rage. He gives us abundant life worth celebrating, even when we have trials. Not only is Jesus enough for you, but you are enough in Him. Who you are in Christ is awesome and beautiful. No rejection, broken relationship, or any struggle can change that the Father has adopted you and made you His. If you want a reminder of who you are in Christ, go read Ephesians 1-3 (I also wrote some about it in this post). Jesus also takes our brokenness and makes it beautiful. He gives us joy and hope as we grieve. He gives us a “new normal”. He heals relationships. Mother’s Day lunch at my dad’s yesterday was a beautiful picture of this. Several different families were represented, and we had all been broken in some way, but the awesome thing about it was that Jesus put us all together for yummy food and a day of sunshine at the lake. Jesus put our families together and made us one family in Him, because in Christ, we are all family, and our spiritual bonds are greater than any worldly bond that we may have. So, yes, Jesus will make beauty from your ashes.
So, friends, I’m praying for you on your weird/sad days, whether that be a birthday, Christmas, an anniversary, etc. Jesus sees you. He has you. Lean in to Him. Press into Him. Jesus is good, and He is faithful. Surround yourself with the body of Christ, and allow them to encourage you on the hard days. One of the sweetest things that my best friend did for me on my mom’s first birthday in heaven was to take me out for a girl’s day of massages and lunch. Jesus is so sweet to put people in our lives who know exactly how to encourage us!
Goodness… I feel like this post is super unorganized and is filled with lots of rambling! But ever since yesterday morning, I just can’t get people who are hurting or grieving off of my heart. I’m praying that my rambling can encourage you in some way. If nothing else know this- you aren’t alone in your hurting, because I’ve been there/am there some days too, and know that Jesus is there waiting for us to run to Him for comfort, grace, and peace in our hurting.