Over the past few years, I’ve learned to never say never. In high school and college, I would often say, “I will never be a teacher.” Fast forward to January 2012, and I’m enrolled to get my masters in teaching so that I can do just the thing that I said I was never going to do. I got my first teaching job in August 2013, and I have loved teaching beyond words; those students will always have a special place in my heart.
“I’ll never be a stay at home mom,” was another thing that I said I would never do. I think that when I say things like this, the Lord laughs. In 2015, the Lord began growing a desire in my heart to be at home full time. My husband and I began a year long journey of prayer wrestling with exactly what the Lord wanted for our family. Fast forward to today, and I have packed up my classroom and entered in grades for the last time, all to do yet another thing that I said I would never do- be a stay at home mom.
My husband and I did not make this decision because we’re anti-daycare; we have absolutely loved the place where Hunter has been the last 2 years. We didn’t make this decision because I don’t enjoy teaching; I’ve loved investing in the lives of my students the past 3 years. We didn’t make this decision because we think this is what a mom/wife must do; some moms work outside of the home full-time, part-time, or not at all, and that is completely okay. Our decision simply boiled down to 1 reason- me staying at home is exactly what God has called us to do.
Through our year of prayer and discussion over this decision, the Lord taught me so many things about trusting Him and His plan for my life. The main lesson the Lord was so sweet to teach me was to live by faith, and not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7). You see, there’s some things about me staying at home full time that aren’t quite worked out yet, but over and over again, I felt like the Lord was telling me, “Jump. I’ve got you. Trust Me with the details.” Sometimes, the Lord calls us to make decisions like this where all of our ducks aren’t in a row quite yet. He does this so that we can put ALL of our faith and trust in Him, and so that He can be more glorified as we watch Him fulfill His plans, provide, and be faithful.
The Lord told me to jump, so I did. The few days leading up to our final decision, my stomach was in knots. After our decision had officially been made, I felt like a literal ton had been lifted off of my shoulders; I was filled with this peace and excitement that could only come from the Lord- what a sweet confirmation from Him!
Some might say that following Christ is not exciting, but I would beg to differ. Saying, “Yes,” to whatever Jesus calls you to is thrilling; and if you’ve done that before, you know exactly what I’m talking about. We said, “Yes,” to Jesus as He has called me to stay at home, and it’s exciting because I’m not exactly sure what lies ahead. What I do know is that Jesus knows exactly what lies ahead, and that is a beautiful, peace-giving thing. There are many days that I have and will fail, but I daily try to follow Him, and as I do, I cannot wait to see how He gets all of my ducks in a row for me. His plan is far more perfect and greater than anything that I could ever dream up.
Where are you at now? Are you wrestling with a decision? Is God telling you to jump, but you’re afraid? Let me leave you with some encouragement- keep praying. Throughout our year of praying, there were times when I felt like my prayers were hitting a wall because I wasn’t getting a clear picture on what God wanted. Keep praying, because in His perfect timing, He will reveal to you what He wants to tell you. Also, if God is calling you to jump, then jump. He can see the big picture when we cannot. He knows what is best for us and what is most glorifying to Him. When you jump and follow Christ, it’s thrilling. You will be in the center of His will, and that, my friend, is the most perfect, best place for you to be.