3 Years Ago Today…

I want to take a break from my series on struggles today, because today marks 3 years since Mom was fully healed and met Jesus face to face.  On that day 3 years ago, my life was forever changed.  There are some days when the events of that day seem like a million years ago, and there are other days when that day feels like it was just yesterday and the details of it are so vivid in my mind.  Whether the details are blurry or vivid, there are certain lessons that the Lord taught me through that day and the days following that will always stick out to me…

• Jesus’ timing is perfect.  Mom passed away in the morning, when typically, Jack and I would have not been at her and dad’s house yet.  However, because of a late night talking the night before, we decided to just stay the night.  This was God’s perfect timing and Him working out all of the little details for our good and His glory.  God knew just what He was doing when we decided to stay the night.  Because of this, Jack, my dad, my brother, his girlfriend (now fiancee), and myself were able to share some sweet last moments with Mom.
• Some of the most beautiful worship happens in small settings.  I am not the most beautiful singer, but I love to lift my voice to worship my Savior.  I have had the opportunity to worship Jesus with thousands of others, and those times were awesome, but the day that Mom passed away was a time of worship that was just as awesome.  Not long after Mom passed, close friends and family started coming to our house.  Our pastor had us all join hands in the living room to pray for us, and then we sang, “I See the Lord”.  There was no music or instruments.  It was just our voices and Jesus, and it was beautiful.
• Jesus heals.  Some might say that my mom lost her battle with cancer, but I would argue with you that she did not.  While Mom was not physically healed, Jesus healed her in a way that she could never be healed on this earth.  In all actuality, Mom won, because she is now with Jesus forever.  The cancer made my mom have kind of a “droopy” smile.  The minute she took her last breath, her lips no longer “drooped”.  Thank you, Jesus, for this small sign of Your full healing.
• The Body of Christ is a beautiful thing.  Like I said, not long after Mom passed away, friends and family started pouring into our house.  They brought everything from food to smiles and a hug.  My friends even showed up with a container of ice cream (they know that’s my love language 🙂 )!  The Church loved on us so well.  They let us be sad when we wanted/needed to be sad, and they also laughed with us when we needed a laugh.  Seriously, I have NO idea how people endure trials without Jesus and His Church.  If this is you, please contact me.  I would love to tell you more about Jesus, and I would love to tell you about the beauty of being involved in His Church.
• Jesus gives grace.  His power is made perfect in our weakness.  Without the grace and the power of Jesus, there is NO WAY that I would have been able to walk through that day and the days following with the joy and the hope that I had.  I think that the rest of my family would echo this as well.  It was all because of Jesus.  It was all because I knew that Mom had accepted His free gift of salvation, which meant that she was experiencing the eternal life that Jesus had promised her in heaven.  This morning at church, we sang, “How Great Thou Art”.  It is only by the power and grace of Jesus that I can stand and sing of His greatness, even in the midst of trial.
• Jesus gives laughter.  Yes, I cried lots of tears that day, but Jesus provided my family and I with a few laughs as well.  Jesus gives joy and abundant life even in the midst of our saddest times.
• Jesus cares about the little things in our lives.  Jack and I decided to stay at my dad’s house for a few nights after Mom passed away.  Being the wonderful husband that he is, Jack volunteered to go back to our house to pack up our things, which included dresses and such for me to wear to the events that were to be held in the next days.  I was determined to wear this pearl necklace that Mom had picked out for me that Easter, but Jack couldn’t find it.  Jack told me that he prayed that the Lord would help him find it, and Jesus did just that.  Jack found my necklace, and I was able to wear it to Mom’s funeral!  Friends, if you don’t think Jesus cares about you, He does.  He cares about the big things, and He cares about the little things, even pearl neckalces!

I experienced more emotions in that one day than I usually do in several days combined.  I experienced sadness as I grieved the loss of my mom.  I expereicned the power of the Holy Spirit as we worshipped Him in our living room.  I experienced joy and laughter.  I experienced gratefulness as I received love from the Body of Christ.  I experienced relief as I knew that my mom was no longer suffering.  I rejoiced as I knew that she was healed and with her Savior.  Most of all, I experienced Jesus. I have said this 1000 times, and I will say it 1000 more- Jesus was SO faithful to us throughout that journey, and He was especially faithful to us on that day and the days that followed.  Jesus is still faithful to us!

Mom passing away was definitely the hardest thing that I have ever been through.  I do not wish for anyone to have to experience that.  However, I know that I would not have been able to experience the faithfulness, power, grace, joy, care, and healing of Jesus in the way I did otherwise.  I pray that you will allow Jesus to use even your toughest days for Him to teach you even more about Himself, His grace, and His faithfulness.