We have had SO much fun this Christmas with our boys! Our 3 year old has looked at his “Christmas list” (the Toys R Us magazine) so much that it’s falling apart. Our 1 year old is currently running around in Santa PJs, and it’s adorable. We’ve looked at Christmas lights, gathered with family and friends, and tried our best to be intentional about sharing Jesus with our boys.
But as fun as it’s all been, my heart as been a little sad the past day or so too. I will never get another Christmas with my mom. My boys will never get a Christmas with her. And as I miss her, I know that I’m not the only one in this boat. I know that Christmas is a hard time for so many. Maybe you’re missing someone like I am. Or maybe you’re longing to be a mama. Or maybe there’s just some difficulty in your family. Whatever your situation, know that you’re not alone this Christmas. I poured out my heart with the Lord yesterday. I told Him about how much I miss my mom, and then I shared my heart with my husband too. And as I did this, the Spirit spoke to me a few truths (one of which He used my wonderful husband to encourage me with), and I wanted to share them with you. Maybe these truths will encourage you this Christmas too.
Grief is a journey. It’s been a little over 5 years since Mom went to be with Jesus, but this is something that I’m just starting to learn. I will never be “over” missing her. Missing her will take on new shapes and forms with each season that comes. And you know what? This is okay. Grief is okay.
God knows me (and you). I told the Lord yesterday about how I simply miss the fact of how Mom knew me. She knew me better than almost anyone. But as I shared my heart with the Lord, He whispered to me, “I know you.” And friends, if you’re a believer in Jesus, He knows you too (side note- if you’re not a believer in Jesus, you can be, and this can be true for you too!). The Savior of the world, that sweet Baby we celebrate at this time, KNOWS me. He knows my joys and my sorrows. He knows my hearts’ desires. He knows what I need. He knows that I’m missing Mom. Ultimately, He knows me better than anyone, including my mom. And being known by Jesus is better than anything. This brings such comfort to my heart.
We (believers) have a relationship with Jesus. This kind of goes with #2, but I also miss the relationship that I had with Mom. I miss our Jason’s Deli lunches and Dairy Queen stops. I miss being able to take my problems to her. But even better than a relationship with my mom, I have a relationship with the King of kings. This relationship with Jesus is enough and is all that we need. It amazes me that Jesus wants to spend time with us, and He wants us to bring our cares to Him. As wonderful as Jason’s Deli lunches were with Mom, honestly, there’s nothing better than my time with Jesus in His Word as I sit on my couch. Also, no one can replace my mom, but Jesus has been so sweet to provide me with relationships with people that encourage me and challenge me. The body of Christ is one of the sweetest gifts!
Mom now has the best Christmas ever. While I wish that my mom was here to celebrate Christmas with us, I know that she wouldn’t leave where she is for anything. Mom is at the place where she longed to be- with her Savior. Mom is cancer free and perfectly healed. But most importantly, Mom is now dwelling with the Word who became flesh and dwelt among men. Mom gets to celebrate Jesus’ birthday with Him and in all of His glory. And honestly, I don’t think there’s any better Christmas than one worshipping at the feet of Jesus.
I’m sure we all have a little brokenness in one way or another this Christmas. After all, we live in a fallen world. But it was because of this brokenness that Jesus came. Jesus came to rescue us, redeem us, and restore us to Himself. Because of this, we can have joy, even while we grieve. We can rest in being known by the Savior and rejoice in our relationship with Him. We can know that one day, we’ll celebrate the best Christmas of all- face to face with our Rescuer. We can gather together with family and friends and celebrate, because no matter what brokenness we’re experiencing, we have been given the best gift of all- the gift of Jesus, our Lord and Savior.
This Christmas, I’m praying that no matter what season of life you’re in, that the Lord gives you joy in celebrating His birth this year. I’m praying that you have laughter and memories. And lastly, I’m praying that He shows you His redeeming love and how He’s working to restore and make beautiful even the most difficult parts of life. Merry Christmas, friends!