God is so, so good. He has blessed me with 2 sweet boys- 2.5 years old and 2.5 months old. Life with both of these boys is a little crazy. There are days where I just have to sent back and laugh or I’ll cry… because I’m nursing a newborn while my toddler is putting his artistic touch on his cozy coupe. This time in life can be hard, but it’s also so sweet, and the Father is using these sweet boys and this time in my life to teach me more about Him, to sanctify me.
The Father is teaching me about how much He loves me. I love those boys more than they’ll ever know. I can’t imagine anything happening to them, much less planning for something to happen to them. However, this is exactly what God the Father did for me (for the entire world). While I was still an enemy of God and dead in my sin, He sent His one and only Son to die for me, for my sin. “But because of His great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions- it is by grace you have been saved.” Ephesians 2:4-5 (NIV). I will never ever be able to fully fathom the love the Father has for me, but the love I have for my children has given me a small glimpse.
God is teaching me about His discipline. I discipline my toddler out of love for him. I love him, and I want him to grow up to be a man of character, a man who pursues Christ. This means that when he does things like throw his fork at the dinner table, I have to discipline him. God is the same way with me. “Because the Lord disciplines those He loves, and He punishes everyone He accepts as a son.” Hebrews 12:6 (NIV). Discipline is not fun, but the Lord uses His conviction in my life to sanctify me and to make me more like Him, and He does this because He loves me.
God is teaching me that I sometimes act like a spiritual 2 year old. My 2 year old can get upset with me for the craziest things. For example, yesterday, he got mad at me because I wouldn’t let him wear my tennis shoes to Wal-Mart. When he does things like this, I think, “You are getting mad over the silliest thing,” or “I know what’s best for you. Don’t you get that?” And in these moments where my son is throwing a tantrum because I won’t let him play with my hot curling iron, and I’m having these thoughts, I hear the Father telling me, “Sometimes, this is how you are with Me.” And He is so right. Instead of obeying God and allowing Him to mold me, I am sometimes guilty of disobeying and being downright 2 year old-ish about it. Thankfully, Jesus just keeps on loving me and keeps on molding me into who He wants me to be.
God is teaching me to rely more and more on Him. Y’all. Parenting is hard, and I don’t know about you, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I am constantly finding myself asking the Lord for wisdom as I learn to balance being a wife and a mom. He is teaching me I can’t do this on my own. He is teaching me to rely on Him to learn how to be a wife and a mom for His glory. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV).
God is teaching me to be His servant. Spit up, changing diapers, and watching Thomas the Train (over and over and over again) isn’t the most glamorous thing, but Jesus wasn’t glamorous either. He came to this earth as a baby, was born in a manger, and spent His time on earth serving others. He did the ultimate act of service through His death on the cross. “Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many.” Matthew 20:28 (NIV). God is using motherhood to teach me how to be last, to teach me how to be His servant.
God is teaching me that He is faithful and sovereign, and that He has commanded me not to worry. Not worrying is hard for a mama, and mamas often like to be in control. The Lord is teaching me that my sons are ultimately His; He has just entrusted them to me for a time. The Lord is going to be faithful to them as they grow up and to me as I parent them because that is just who He is- the awesome, faithful Father. “The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it.” 1 Thessalonians 5:24 (NIV).
I am no expert in the motherhood department, and I fail at following Jesus daily, but I am so thankful He is using my sweet boys to teach me more about Him. I am learning that the Lord uses each different season in life to mold me and teach me about Him. Each season is unique, and I pray that the Lord continues to use each different season of my life to make me more like Him for His glory.
“May God Himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:23 (NIV).