Recently, I wrote a post discussing standards girls should set for dating that are based off of the Word of God. I had many of those standards set as I was dating and waiting on the man that is now my husband, but to be honest, one of those standards I didn’t really know that I wanted/needed until after I met and married my husband.
The standard that I am referring to is the standard of purity. Like I said in the previous blog, there are many aspects to purity, with the obvious one being sexual purity. This was a no-brainer for me. In middle school, I had made the commitment to remain sexually pure until marriage because I knew that this was part of God’s good and perfect plan; therefore, I had always known that sexual purity would be one of my standards.
The other aspect of purity was the part of the standard that I honestly didn’t think of too much or realize how important it was until after I had met Jack (my husband). God made males to be very visual; therefore, they can fall into the temptation of lust much more easily than we ladies can (we are not exempt from this, though, read more here). Matthew 5:27-30 teaches that simply looking at a woman with lust is committing adultery. Girls, let that sink in. If a guy even looks at a woman who is not his wife with impure, sexual thoughts, whether that girl be on the street, on TV, on the internet, etc., he is committing adultery against you! Stop giving the excuses of, “Well, he still comes home to me!,” Or, “I know he can’t really have them!” Based off of God’s Word, you should set a standard that the guy who you date (and ultimately marry) keeps his eyes pure.
What does it mean exactly for a guy to keep his eyes pure? It is so much more than him just staying away from porn (although, that should be obvious!)! Unfortunately, there are stumbling blocks for guys all over the place today, but that does not mean that they should just “give in” to the visual temptation that might be there. A guy who keeps his eyes pure is going to be careful about what he watches on TV and which movies he sees. Before going to a movie or watching a movie, you can look it up on imdb.com and/or Plugged In. A guy who keeps his eyes pure will also have settings on his computer to block certain websites and such from coming up. There are so many resources out there to help with this! Sometimes, unexpected things pop up, but a guy who is trying to keep his eyes pure will “bounce” his eyes.
Girls, this does not mean you should go to your significant other and begin spouting off demands! Speak to him in love about how his actions are hurting you. Pray that the Holy Spirit would convict him, because ultimately, this sin against you is really a sin against Jesus Christ. Also, be sure that you are doing your part as well. Be sure that you are keeping your eyes pure, and that you are keeping your heart pure. As girls, it is easy to fall into emotional lust by watching/reading movies/books that will cause us to think of a man in a way we should only think of our husband. You can also do your part by the way you dress. Dress modestly so that you are not the cause of temptation or a stumbling block for your brothers in Christ. They appreciate it more than you know!
I am beyond blessed to have a husband who does everything in his power to keep his eyes pure. I am so thankful that he had set this standard for himself, and that the Lord used him to show me how important this was. Girls, you will not regret waiting on the guy who keeps himself pure in all areas! You also won’t regret keeping yourself pure in all aspects. This is all part of Jesus’ perfect plan, and He knows best! If you and/or your significant other have messed up in this area, there is always forgiveness. The beautiful grace of Jesus covers ALL sins, including sins of sexual immorality. What is important is that you and/or your significant other have repented and have turned toward Christ. We cannot remain pure through our own power, especially considering the temptations that exist in today’s society; rely on the Holy Spirit’s power to resist and remain pure. Like I’ve said, you won’t regret it :)!