On Instagram, I spent several Mondays doing a reel series, helping moms to see how motherhood + ministry go hand-in-hand. Here’s a wrap up of that, with all the captions in one spot. You can visit my Instagram & find the reels in the highlights!
Week One- Intro
My husband, Jack, was called to full-time vocational ministry years before we even met. When we started dating, he was in his senior year of college, about to graduate with a degree in Christian studies. I knew that marrying him meant marrying a pastor. He got his first ministry position 3 weeks before we said, “I do.” We got married, & I jumped in full-force to ministry life. I loved it! 2 years later, we welcomed our 1st child into our family.
The transition of being able to be at all the student-ministry things to now rocking a newborn while college students did Bible study in my living room was difficult for me. I wrestled with whether I was serving Jesus as much as I rocked a newborn as I did when I was able to be at all the things (the answer is yes, but more on that in the coming weeks!). I used to think motherhood & ministry were at odds, but by God’s grace, he’s taught me that’s not true.
I love being a pastor’s wife. I love being a mom. I love doing ministry. So, over the next few weeks, I invite you to join me on Mondays as I share how all of these things really do go hand-in-hand. This isn’t just for the pastor’s wife, but every Christian woman. After all, all believers are called to be ministers of the Gospel in whatever season the Lord has us. It’s not just for the “professional” pastors/church staff. Through this series, I pray that the Lord helps us view our children as blessings, our homes as ministries, & helps us understand how we can faithfully serve outside the walls of our homes as well.
See you next Monday!
Week Two- Kids Are a Blessing
First things first, we need a biblical view of our children. Psalm 127:3-5 makes abundantly clear that children are a blessing from the Lord! So often, in my head, I know this to be true, but my actions reveal I’m guilty of viewing them as an interruption, or less important than more of the “seen” ministry the Lord has called me to do. Any thought that children are an interruption, less important, or a burden is from Satan, & we must battle to have the right perspective toward these blessings the Lord has given us!
The right attitude & perspective is vital. Kids are kids! They have needs, won’t always behave perfectly, will get sick at what seems like the worst times, & will do crazy things like spill water all over themselves just before the church service. We shouldn’t be surprised when such things happen. We need to expect our kids will need us & have the attitude of, “We GET to serve them!” We also can use their sin & simply, the chaos of life, to point them to Christ. When the Lord helps shift our mindset, we’ll be more likely to respond to our kids in God-honoring ways instead of with frustration.
Also, let’s be careful with how we talk to & about our children. While the Lord may call us to do things such as teach at a women’s ministry event, we don’t want our children to think that’s the important stuff we do for Jesus, but they’re secondary. There’s a variety of ways we can fall short in talking to & about our kids as burdens, but by God’s grace, may he help us speak to & about them in a way that honors him.
Our children are a blessing. They’re not a distraction or hindrance from ministry. They’re our first ministries (more on that next week!), & a part of what the Lord is doing in our lives! May we steward these blessings well for the glory of God!
Week Three- Homes First
To be clear, motherhood isn’t THE highest calling of a Christian woman. Simply, it’s to love God & love people (Mark 12:30-31). For those God has made mamas, though, our home must be our first ministry. This doesn’t mean we can never work or do ministry outside the home (more on that later), but our home & the people in them get top priority.
The world tells us quite the opposite, though. It devalues raising children, loving our husbands, & in general, the work in the home. It’s true that it isn’t glamorous & often goes unnoticed. However, the work done in & through our homes has eternal value far beyond what we can see in the here & now.
First, we’re called to disciple our children (Deut. 6:4-9). It’s never too early to start discipling your kids (& also never too late!). This doesn’t have to be fancy nor does it require children to sit still, but figure out what works for your family & have an intentional time of discipleship daily. For us, we’ve seen “formal” times create more informal God-centered conversations. I can’t stress enough how much parents matter. Church is vital (in fact, prioritizing it should be a part of discipling your kids), but it’s not to be the primary discipler of your children- you are.
Next, steward the blessings in your home (your husband & kids) & your home itself well. The Lord gives these things to use for his glory! We get to image Christ as we serve in our homes. We bless our husbands & children as we make a favorite meal. We bless others as we invite them in our homes, not to impress them with cooking skills or decor, but to love them, disciple them, or encourage them while they’re with us.
Mamas, ditch the world’s lies that we must constantly be looking outside the walls of our home to do “real” work &/or ministry. Jesus may call us to that some, but no matter what, he calls us to the good work of our homes. Trust the Lord to use everything from discipleship conversations at dinner to scrubbing toilets to produce eternal fruit in yourself, your family, & others for his glory.
Week Four- Staying is Serving
In my early years of motherhood, I struggled with if I was really serving the Lord or not as things shifted for me. I questioned this as I rocked babies to sleep instead of sitting alongside my husband as he led college Bible study in our living room. & if I was still serving him, was staying at home with a sick baby as important as attending youth camp?
I wrestled a lot with this, & the Lord graciously kept teaching me this- Staying is serving. Sometimes, the Lord will call us to go (more next week!), but when I was in a season of toddlers & babies, it wasn’t always practical for me to attend youth camps, lock-ins, etc. In this season, if we have a sick child on a church day, I’m always the one who has to stay home (the pastor has to be there!).
When I stay home & “hold down the fort” with a joyful attitude (key word!!), it frees my husband to joyfully do what the Lord has called him to as well. I’m nowhere near perfect at this, but imagine my husband was leaving to preach on a Sunday, & all I did was whine & complain about being home with a sick kid. That wouldn’t help him in regards to what God has called him to do! Instead, I can serve him & the Lord by rejoicing in the fact that I get to stay home & take care of our home & family (see last week’s reel for the importance of this!).
The serving I do for Jesus is equally valuable whether I’m taking care of my children at home while my husband is away at a retreat, or teaching God’s Word to a room full of women. So, mamas, be encouraged that you’re serving Jesus, even if what you’re doing isn’t always seen. The Lord sees, & he uses the unseen for his glory.
Week Five- Serving is Also Going
Not only is staying serving, but so is going. I think moms can typically fall into 1of 2 pitfalls. One is what we’ve discussed in previous weeks- we don’t value the work in our homes &/or don’t think we’re serving Jesus in this. The other pitfall, though, is clinging SO tightly to our children that we never serve outside the home.
Our children are blessings & our first ministries, but they’re not our only ministries. The Lord gifts us for the edification of the church, & if we never use those gifts, we hurt not only ourselves, but the church. If we’re not careful, we can idolize our children & their schedules & miss out on the good work for which God has called us.
Mamas, you’re important in the life of your children, but you’re not the MOST important. Jesus is. It’s okay for you to enlist trusted babysitters &/or the entrusted care of church nursery so that you can serve. In our student ministry days, I typically picked one trip a year to attend while grandparents watched our. Now, I’m thankful for our children’s ministry volunteers that teach my kids while I lead small groups. Or, thankful Jack takes over while I prep for + teach at various women’s events.
Other ways this may look- be flexible with kids’ schedules in order to attend church/serve, talk to your husband about both of your giftings & passions, & figure out how you can support one another in this, etc.
I can’t tell you what you should say yes or no to. That can only come from your daily time with Jesus, talks with your husband, & wise counsel from your in-real-life people. Another key aspect of this is that we can also bring our kids along with us in ministry. See you next week as we continue this discussion!
Week Six- Bringing Your Kids Along With You
One way we can serve the Lord is by bringing our kids along with us in the ministry he’s called us to. I didn’t realize it then, but my parents did this for me, & I’m so grateful! I grew up helping my mom take meals to others & having a house full of teens for Sunday School parties each Christmas, & it taught me so much about serving others & hospitality. By bringing our kids along with us, we can model for them what it means to serve Jesus, & Lord willing, help develop in them a heart for service.
This can look many different ways, but here are a few from my own life:
- Taking a meal to someone- Bring your kids with you or invite them into the kitchen while you make it. Explain to them what you’re doing & why.
- Practicing hospitality- Tell your kids who’s coming over & prepare them by encouraging them to share their toys if applicable, allowing guests to fix their plates first, etc.
- Asking them to pray for you- If you’re doing ministry they can’t be directly involved in, you can still explain what you’re doing & ask them to pray!
- Writing letters/cards- Kids can write/draw cards to encourage others
This list only scratches the surface, but simply think- what has the Lord called you to, & how can you make that a family event? It’s true that more is caught than taught. I don’t remember if my mom explicitly said to me, “Take a meal to someone after they’ve had a baby,” but I remember her doing it. Let’s model for our kids serving Jesus & invite them along with us in the work he’s doing.
Mamas, motherhood + ministry aren’t at odds with one another. Serve Jesus by serving your families & the others he puts in your life. May we abide in him because apart from him, we can do nothing (John 15:5). All glory to God who chooses to use imperfect mamas like us to raise the next generation & serve his church.
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