I’ve become a mother 5 times over the past 9 years. Twice in a hospital room with newborn boys placed in my arms. Once in an orphanage with a shy toddler girl. And twice just by two pink lines, indicating lives I’d lose just a few weeks later to miscarriage. Even in the joy of meeting my 3 living children for the first time, those moments still held a hint of sadness. I’ve been surrounded by precious family and friends, but there’s been and always will be one person missing- my mom. About a year after she took her last breath, I saw two pink lines, telling me I was going to be a mommy. Since then, I’ve weathered middle of the night feedings, potty training, and first days of school, all without her.
For much of my motherhood, I battled the thought that I’m not fully equipped. I don’t have my mom, the one person I planned on calling with my crazy questions or spending Saturdays having lunch with. I have other wonderful people to encourage me and answer my questions, but it’s just not quite the same. I felt as if I were missing someone I desperately needed for motherhood. One day, though, the Lord convicted me of this. Underneath these surface thoughts were thoughts against God himself- he hadn’t provided what I needed for motherhood, and he wasn’t enough for me. In God’s kindness, he poured truth of Scripture over me to remind me he really is enough, and that in him, I’m equipped for whatever he calls me to in life. I’m sure all moms experience moments where they don’t feel like they have “enough” for motherhood. Dear friend, join me as we dig into the truths of Scripture.
There’s a point in Paul’s ministry when he pleads for the Lord to remove a thorn in his side, and he tells us, “But he [Christ] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me” (2 Corinthians 12:9). One of my (many) weaknesses in motherhood is I don’t have my mom. What I do have, though, is Christ, and he’s sufficient in my weaknesses. Christ is enough, and his power rests on me as I battle potty-training, navigate friendships for my children, and yes, even as I grieve my mom. I’m sure if we were having coffee, you could give me a long list of your “weaknesses”. Maybe you think you’re not crafty enough, can’t cook well enough, or aren’t patient enough. The beauty of the Gospel is Christ never expects us to be enough or have enough, but to find our sufficiency in him. Our weaknesses and limits are God’s good gifts to remind us to depend on him. May we boast in our weaknesses, even in motherhood, because they give us opportunities to live in the power of Christ.
Countless Scriptures teach the beautiful truth that the Father knows what we need and will provide those needs. Philippians 4:19 tells us, “And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus”. Let’s not skip that vital word, “every”. God has and will supply every need, not just some, not just most, but every. Therefore, if God hasn’t supplied it, we must not need it. I don’t need my mom, because God hasn’t supplied her for this season of life. What do you feel like you’re missing for motherhood? Maybe you moved to a new place, and you feel ill-equipped because you don’t have the community you once did. Maybe you feel you’re missing something financially, that you’d be a better mom if you just had more money. The list could go on with the ways Satan tempts us to fall to covetousness and idolatry. Dear friend, God has supplied EVERYTHING you need to live faithfully in motherhood, as a wife, and in every role he’s given you. God does this supplying according to His riches, which are far beyond what we could ever imagine! Friends, when the God of the universe supplies our needs according to his riches, we can trust that our good Father is taking care of us, now and forever.
Not a day goes by when I don’t wish my mom were here. Just this morning, Faith insisted the line of her sock go straight across her toes, and I wished my mom could see this payback I’m receiving as I gave her fits about this in my toddler days. It’s not wrong for me to grieve her, as long as I do so with hope as we’re commanded in 1 Thessalonians 4:13. I grieve with hope as I look to Heaven, but in the day to day, I do this as I trust Christ’s sufficiency and plan for my life. Christ was sufficient the day Mom met him face to face. He was sufficient each day children were placed in my arms, and even the days we lost them to miscarriage. He’s sufficient as I seek wisdom in disciplining kids, navigate screen time, and watch little league sports. He’ll be sufficient in every season of life and motherhood. The lyric, “Hallelujah! All I have is Christ! Hallelujah! Jesus is my life!” is the heartbeat of my life. Friends, may it be the heartbeat of yours too. In your weaknesses and lack, rest in the glorious sufficiency of Jesus.
diariesofadaughter.com 